I’m staring at the blank screen of my laptop. I only typed down the title of this post. Happiness. Time passes by as the cursor blinks on the same spot every time. My mind starts to wander…
Walking back home at 4AM on that chill October morning. There was nobody out on the streets. Nobody but you and the gold October leaves on the wet dark pavement. You didn’t notice them during the day. They gave you this strange feeling of freedom when you looked at them. What a night, you thought back then, walking down the street with a big grin on your face. And it had all started as a typical day at work.
Earlier that night, while looking around the living room, you realized that there were about a dozen people from different corners of the world. Different cultures, different languages, different ways of experiencing life. The guy sitting next to you was from Poland. The girl from the US. Then there was the Malaysian. UK, Brazil, Mexico, UK again. Portugal, Israel, Belgium and Sweden…
They were all there. The whole world. And that whole world was small. Small and wonderful. Not big and scary, no.
They were all beautiful people. People you had just met. Some, five minutes earlier that night, others a few hours before. And they were all there together without caring about borders or nationality or political orientation. They were just there, smiling, singing, talking. That was all.
Oh, and that past trip, after wandering the streets of a foreign city you’ve never been to before, having one of the best dinners of your life, with a bunch of people from other corners of this world whom you had met the day before, all gathered together in a cozy apartment. And that moment when you said thank you, thinking that it wasn’t enough and that you should have said more. But it was. There was no need for more. Only had to be there, crossing those imaginary boundaries we all have.
And then you remember more. You remember that you’ll always be welcome somewhere in Chile, Canada or France. And in Honduras, Germany, Norway and Australia. Or Argentina, Spain and New Zealand. And don’t forget about Italy and Peru and…
And then that hug you’ll never forget, that hug that brought with it an immense thank you. An immense thank you only for being there. Only for being alive…
And the goodbye before you got on the train on that special Thursday two years ago. And that little heart drawn on the dusty train window. A heart that you can’t erase. A little heart that stayed with you for the entire journey. A heart that you remember still. And one that you will, forever.
Then there was that last December morning on top of a volcano, with those unspoken words of somebody you’ve just met and shared a wonderful couple of hours with, never knowing whether or not you’ll ever meet again this lifetime. And then that last day by the soothing ocean, that last day away from fears, worries and the grey winter at home.
And that walk back home from last night’s concert, that fun walk through the woods, playing and running and laughing and not caring about what tomorrow was about to bring.
Isn’t it amazing? It doesn’t matter if you have a car or a simple bicycle. It doesn’t matter how much money you have in your bank account or if you even have one. It doesn’t matter what skin color you have or where you were born… if you wear a suit and a tie at work or just some jeans and a t-shirt… that you like wine or beer or coffee… that you hate chocolate – which is impossible – or that you prefer movies rather than books.
Isn’t it wonderful when you realize that none of it matters?
…my mind shifts back to that blinking cursor.
I don’t care about happiness.